lemonsqueeze

Friday, October 28, 2005

abbey road?

thats entertainment





so last sat neal and i attend the world sumo wrestling challenge aka the battle of the giants at madison square garden. 24 wrestlers from 10 countries. yeah whatever- youre just jealous. it was a glorious if informal affair-extra large men with questionable gland problems in colorful thong underwear-a cant miss, win/win situation for us. the loser is the first one to step outside the designated circle they are wrestling in, or the first one to fall. actually the thongs are called mawashi and it is a thick belt to protect the genitals but also offers something for the other wrestler to grapple with, or grab onto.
seeing two large individuals scantily clad trying to push one another over or just circling around the ring while they bitch slap each other is an awesome way to spend a sat night. difficult to know who to cheer for but we usually picked the larger guy. some other exceptional fights were outside the ring around the concession stand but thats another tale involving liquor. hey free tickets are free tickets.
my friend who grew up in japan related to me a story of being taken to a sumo stable for a class trip. 20 kindergarten children pile unto one sumo wrestler and try to overpower him- if i couldva been a fly on the wall..and then they all sit down to lunch together- of course.
interestingly enough the runner up received only 5 grand as his prize which we collectively booed at and the winner, a baby faced japanese received 10 grand to which we again voiced our dissatification. not enough for lunches, neal said.

my friend m tells me that sumo wrestling is fixed- go take a look at that freakonomics book he says-damm i say, is nothing sacred?

fundamentalism..

..be it religious or of the market variety, is everywhere, and everywhere there is a reaction to complexity, an attempt to ignore the contradictions and conundrums of our existence. people crave the simplicity of easily assimilated black & white paradigms and any blurring, any ambiguity, is viewed with hostility. (from 7 types of ambiguity by elliot perlman-great book-recently finished it)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

'happiness

is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed by the living to the dead, now attributed by adults to children and by children to adults'
thomas szasz

i am quite satisfied with being content but sometimes i cant help myself, i get happy-maybe i just have a good imagination..

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

closure

what does it mean and why do i crave it so badly? to the point of initiating it just so i can achieve control over the situation; the relationship, the job, the apartment. i move so often in all aspects of my life - what the hell am i trying to avoid? although i have gotten better... over a year in the same job and can actually anticipate being there for a few years. and its a great job that i love but i get viscerally uncomfortable when i think of being there for say- five years- its a lifetime- it feels like. why am i like this? my parents have been together since the stone age-whether or not they should have stayed together is an entirely different matter altogether. they have been in their house and jobs long- term, so i cant say i have had no stabilizing influences in my life. when does it stop? shouldnt i look for the one great guy to settle down with? or settle for? when i was younger i used to read alot more and used to love getting to the end of the book. even if the book was bad i would always finish it. i had to know the end. i had to finish it off. so in my own unique pathology i have to know the ending of things and to control it, i end it myself. damm i am so immature.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

images





Monday, October 03, 2005

syn-gene-so-phobia

fear of relatives-
family dinner tonight, actually they are pretty cool and interesting and they continue to put up with me which is a task in itself...free food!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

scent

so i head to the whole foods market to replenish, restock and to cease and desist from living off the good will of others who have been feeding me for the last 10 days, okay two weeks. standing on line- a familiar stimulation to the olfactory nerve --the guy in front of moi has the distinct scent of an old boyfriend. i inhale deeply, remembering. clearly, visually it is not him. but if i close my eyes...a flood of memories both good and great wash over me. why did i break up with him? twice in fact. more memories. what was that feeling? oh yeah, bittersweet...
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